


Emotionally Exposed

by SamuelJames



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-06
Updated: 2010-07-06
Packaged: 2017-10-12 07:50:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/122606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamuelJames/pseuds/SamuelJames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A telepath on the Enterprise Crew exposes lots of secrets leaving Jim feeling both angry and vulnerable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Emotionally Exposed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hoosierbitch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoosierbitch/gifts).



> Title: Emotionally Exposed  
> Pairing: Jim/Bones  
> Rating: 18+/NC-17 for explicit sexual content and swearing  
> Summary: A telepath on the Enterprise Crew exposes lots of secrets leaving Jim feeling both angry and vulnerable.  
> Kink: Vulnerability  
> Notes: Written for rounds_of_kink of LiveJournal where the prompt was Somehow (telepathic aliens?) Kirk's troubled past is revealed to his crewmates. (Comforted by M/M sex with someone?)   
> Disclaimer: Star Trek is the creation of Gene Roddenberry. It belongs to Paramount and JJ Abrams. No copyright infringement is intended.  
> Archiving Information: Please do not archive elsewhere on the net.

"It's fucked up, Bones. Who I was is not who I am now. It's such a violation to have them hear that. Seriously when I get hold of whoever didn't vet her properly there will be hell to pay."

Bones held out a drink and Jim paused his pacing for a moment, threw back the drink and resumed his angry march around his quarters. He didn't have the words to comfort Jim so alcohol would have to do for now. Tianna had revealed little truths about everyone on the bridge but she'd really gone after Jim exposing his fears, desires and grief to the crew. Sulu might be blushing when he next saw Uhura and Chekov would be a little uncomfortable that she had highlighted his social insecurities but each of the crew had only suffered momentary embarrassment. Even though Tianna had poked at McCoy's own wounds regarding Joanna and being an absent father he knew he'd get over that.

"How am I supposed to lead a crew that knows I'm scared shitless sometimes? Without their confidence I'm nothing. All that stuff about my dad was private except from you. It's bad enough that I'm the Kelvin kid, everyone knows my history but to have her lay it all out there for them like that. Such private things and then she made it seem like I constantly judge the crew. I have every confidence in Uhura and yet Tianna pulls out that one thought, a second in time during the last three years when I wondered if she might be wrong?"

"It didn't work, Jim, she didn't turn everyone against you."

Jim sat on the sofa with Bones. "I trust this crew, I know I'm lucky to have such a good team and that united front on the bridge was wonderful but she's planted lingering doubts in everyone's minds. Yeah I thought Chekov's so young. I'm in awe of his intelligence but she didn't say that. She made it seem like I thought he was too young to be on this crew. He'll resent that and never say anything to me but always wonder what I really think. I saw his face when she said that." Jim looked at Bones, "and you I'm sorry she spoke about Joanna. She had no right. I know you love her."

Bones shrugged, they'd had this conversation before, "it's fine, I miss her lots but the situation is what it is. Any betrayal I feel is nothing compared to what you must feel. Was all of it true?"

Jim nodded.

"You wanted to die?"

"That's not me any more but yeah at the time I wanted the pain to go away."

"Did you even fight back?"

"Yeah, I fought back. I just figured I'd eventually get into a fight I couldn't win. The crew are going to think I spend every day focused on my own problems or that I rush headlong into action because I'm suicidal. I take risks but I wouldn't do that."

Bones sighed, he knew Jim best and even he was worried about what had been revealed. He trusted Jim but he couldn't be sure that the rest of the crew would take it so well, "another drink?"

Jim shrugged, maybe getting drunk was the way to go here. Bones passed him the glass and their hands touched for longer than needed. He looked Bones in the eyes, if he'd read this wrong it could fuck up their friendship. Bones' eyes, god he could stare at them all day. He leaned forward cautiously, Bones tilted his head and then they were kissing. It felt so good but Jim regretfully broke the kiss "we shouldn't."

"Why not?"

Jim moved to the end of the couch, "you're my best friend and I don't want to mess that up. I had such a crush on you after you treated Pike. Competence is a very attractive quality. It never completely went away but I'd want more than a night so it's best we leave it. Spock's a good listener when it comes to strategy but when I need advice it's you I turn to. I need you as a friend."

Bones was frustrated, Jim couldn't see what was right under his nose. "I like you, Jim, not just as a friend. I'm not making a move for a one-time fuck or for pity. Just tonight you seemed so needy, not in a bad way like I'm trying to take advantage. I've been resisting you for too many years and tonight it seemed like you might not push me away. I've sometimes thought there was something in the way you were looking at me but I couldn't be sure until she confirmed it."

Jim smiled and Bones' stomach flipped. That smile had been part of more than one fantasy over the last few years. "What do you say, Jim? I want more than tonight."

Jim moved closer, almost hesitant. They were crossing a big line here. It was a simple press of lips and then he opened his mouth to Bones' tongue. Nothing that felt this good could possibly be wrong. Jim put his arms around his best friend. He tried to push away the thoughts about the day and give himself over to the sensations of Bones' kisses and touches. Obviously Bones could tell that Jim was distracted because he pulled away.

"Let me help you relax, sit on the floor."

Jim sat on the floor between Bones' feet and Bones began massaging his head and neck. "That feels good, thanks." He was quiet as Bones eased away the tension save for the occasional moan or "that bit there." Fifteen minutes later he was feeling much better. "Thanks, that helped a lot." Jim sat back on the sofa. "Should I apologise to the crew, pretend nothing happened or what?"

"Maybe no ship wide announcement but a meeting with the bridge crew might help. I know you want your privacy and you deserve it but you could offer them a chance to speak with you one to one."

"Good plan, the one to ones so I can explain or deal with questions they have. I need their trust, Bones."

"You still have mine. I just worry about you is all. I get that the past is the past but it's still not easy to hear that I could have lost you before we even met.

Jim could see his friend was concerned. "I'm sorry and believe me I'm really glad that I'm still here. A lot of the fighting was teenage rebellion stuff that I took too long to grow out of. I'm sure I can't be the only one on the ship with things in their past that they're not proud of. Yes, I was stupid and some may argue that I still am but I've changed. Do you think she only went after me because I'm Captain?"

Bones shrugged, "probably but who knows. She's refusing to talk."

"I'm getting stressed again just thinking about her. To know I had a traitor on my ship all this time. All her colleagues and friends will feel so betrayed. The next few days are going to be awful knowing that everyone knows about my issues. That stuff about my dad, it isn't all the time but I don't think I'll ever be fully over it. He was a hero but sometimes I just want my dad, not the legend." Jim looked at Bones, eyes shining with almost tears but he didn't cry. He wasn't the only one Tianna had betrayed. He reached out and took Bones' hand. "I know you said you've liked me for a while but would you ever have made a move without her confirming that I like you?"

"I'd like to say yes but I stayed quiet this long. I'm not suggesting we thank her, far from it, but can't we be the one good thing to come out of this mess?"

Jim leaned forward for a kiss and this time gave Bones his full attention kissing him thoroughly and letting his hands wander. They pulled at each others' uniforms and Jim slid his hand into the waistband of Bones' trousers. He leaned back pulling Bones down on top of him. It felt so good, not awkward like he'd feared it might be. If Bones didn't stop grinding against him it would all be over too quickly. Jim broke the kiss and Bones looked down at him puzzled.

"Need to slow down unless you want me to come in my pants. Let's take this to the bedroom." Jim led the way, suddenly nervous. They each undressed and lay on the bed.

"I'm clean, nobody but my hand since Jocelyn."

Jim laughed, "not quite that long for me but I was clean on my last test and there hasn't been any action since. Being Captain puts a dent in your sex life. So we're really doing this?"

"We really are." Bones kissed Jim again. "You got lube?"

Jim's face fell, "no, crap." What about sickbay?"

"I'm not walking to sickbay with a hard-on."

"Not even if I say please?

"Not even then, Jim. You go"

Jim shook his head, "no way, not giving anyone an extra reason to talk about me."

Jim kissed Bones again and ran his hand down his chest and stomach. He took Bones' cock in his hand. "This will have to do for now."

"No complaints here."

Bones spread his legs and Jim climbed between them. He ran his thumb over the head of Bones' cock and licked it clean. Moving back he pushed Bones' legs further apart so he could suck his cock. Bones groaned as Jim licked and sucked. Jim let Bones cock go with a loud slurp and stroked it while he licked Bones' balls and kissed the soft skin at the tops of his thighs. After that Bones would be hard pushed to accurately recall the sequence of events. Jim's hands and lips and tongue were doing wonderful things to him making his hips rise off the mattress. It didn't take long to make him come and then he was treated to the sight of Jim licking his fingers clean.

"Kiss me, Jim."

They shared a soft kiss, each of them happy with the change in their relationship. As they kissed Bones rolled them pinning Jim underneath him. He trailed kisses down Jim's neck and chest pausing to lick one of Jim's nipples.

Jim moaned, "teeth please."

Bones bit Jim's nipple and then licked it. He repeated this action, taking Jim's other nipple between his teeth and biting gently. He was looking forward to learning what Jim liked. Bones took Jim's cock in his hand and stroked him as he looked into his eyes.

"You're gorgeous, Jim, moaning like this for me. So good to touch you cos let me tell you I've imagined us more than once, stretching you open to take my cock or you fucking me over my desk."

Jim bit his lip, holding in a moan and Bones couldn't resist kissing him.

"We are definitely getting some lube tomorrow." He moved suddenly and took Jim's cock in his mouth enjoying the noises Jim was making. Jim warned Bones he was about to come but Bones stayed where he was and swallowed what he could. He pulled back and licked his lips. He lay on his side, next to Jim, "we should have done this a lot sooner."

"Definitely. Will you stay with me?

"Course."

Jim moved a little closer and curled up beside Bones. Bones brushed his fingers through Jim's hair till he fell asleep. He smiled when Jim began to snore softly. Tomorrow was going to be tough and probably the day after that too but if anyone wanted to get to Jim they'd have to go through him first. A short while later he made himself comfortable, put his arm around Jim and soon they were both snoring.

~

The following morning Jim woke first and smiled when he saw Bones next to him. He woke Bones, kissed him quickly and told him to get dressed. When they were both presentable Jim contacted the bridge crew and asked them to come to his quarters before their shift. He watched the faces of his team as they arrived but couldn't discern their mood.

"Thanks for coming. I wanted to update you. Tianna no longer has external communications access and is confined to her quarters. We will be returning to Earth as directed by Starfleet to hand Tianna over to them. We're not sure what information she was privy to or may have passed on as she is refusing to tell us. Starfleet will conduct a full investigation and will check all of her communications history. Our records don't show who she communicated with only that long range messages were sent but the experts should be able to find something." Jim looked at his team but they were still giving nothing away. "Now to the more personal matters. I won't embarrass anyone by repeating her words. However my ability to lead may have been brought into question."

"Captain."

"Yes, Commander."

"I don't believe it would be wise to judge your leadership abilities based on your teenage years."

Jim smiled gratefully, "thank you, Spock. I know I can do this job but still, Tianna's revelations may have raised concerns for some of you. She also revealed some personal thoughts and I want to assure each of you that you are valuable members of this team. I certainly couldn't do my job if all of you weren't so good at yours. I don't want to put anyone on the spot so I'm going to send each of you a meeting request."

Chekov looked alarmed.

"It's not compulsory and we don't even have to talk about yesterday but if someone has concerns I'd rather know than have resentment fester or suddenly be faced with transfer requests. I'm really happy with this team and we've been through a lot together so you can ask me anything. I'll send the meeting requests later today. Mr Spock, I'll be working from my quarters today. Starfleet needs a write-up of this situation. If I'm needed on the bridge just comm me."

"Of course, Captain."

"Thank you all for your time."

The team stood to leave.

"Doctor McCoy, could you wait a moment."

Bones raised his eyebrow and waited till the doors closed. "I don't think you've ever called me that."

"I was trying to seem professional. How do you think that went?"

"Not sure. You got across what you wanted to say but they all looked as serious as Spock except for petrified Pavel."

"I think I scared him. He's the one I could most do with talking to."

Jim put his arms around Bones and kissed him, "I know you have to go now but can we have dinner after shift?"

"Sure thing, you man the replicator and I'll bring lube."

"So you think you're getting lucky tonight?"

"Yes," replied Bones before kissing Jim again.

As it turned out he saw Bones before the shift ended. Apparently Tianna had damaged the replicator in her quarters and was refusing any food. Bones and Jim both told her that if she became a risk to herself she would be given nutrients via hypospray. She remained stubborn and repeated her assertion that she wouldn't answer any questions. Jim turned to leave and heard her laugh. "So angry with me, Captain. I know from your Doctor's thoughts that you're together now. Feel free to thank me."

Jim turned back angrily, "you had no right to do what you did."

"And you've no right pretending you're fit to run this ship. Now now, Doctor, control your anger. You and I both know that behind that uniform James T. Kirk is just a scared little boy who wants his daddy."

Bones grabbed Jim's hand and pulled him away from her. Out in the corridor he was quick to reassure Jim that he did not agree with Tianna.

"It is true though, Bones, she hasn't lied so far."

"We all get scared, it's what you do in the face of fear that matters. I don't see you as this broken person she's talking about. You are intelligent, brave, loyal and you care about this crew. I'd be more worried if you never thought about your father."

"Listen, you could ask Chapel to treat her if necessary. I don't want her targeting you because she knows about us now."

"I can handle her. Hopefully she'll give in and eat before anyone has to intervene. Don't let her get to you, I'll see you later."

It was easier said than done and Jim ended up spending the whole day in his quarters. He hadn't lied about needing to speak with Starfleet but the sooner she was off the ship the better he'd feel. Only Spock had responded to the meeting request so they could discuss any security risks from Tianna's time on board. Jim wondered if Chekov would accept or decline. After a few years he should be sure of his position on board the Enterprise but sometimes Chekov still seemed a little unsure of himself.

When Bones arrived Jim gave him a big smile, "it's good to see you after the day I've had. I talked to Pike about Tianna and apparently anyone who worked with her will need to be questioned. We're going to have to wait in San Francisco for a while. I dread to think what she'll tell them. Sorry how was your day?"

"Listen, your job is not at risk here. They wouldn't let you be Captain if there were any question of that and I had a good day thanks."

Bones ordered a coffee from the replicator and sat next to Jim. They were quiet for a while as Jim finished off his final report of the day. Once it was done he turned his attention to Bones and kissed him. Bones made a joke about not even getting dinner first and Jim jokingly tried to go to the replicator but Bones' hand on his wrist stopped him.

"We can eat later."

They went through to Jim's room and undressed each other stopping for kisses and touches as they went. Jim walked Bones backwards to the bed and pushed him down gently. There were more kisses and then Jim straddled Bones' thighs. "I'm so glad you brought lube." He leaned forward and kissed Bones. Jim poured some lube on his fingers and began stretching himself open as Bones watched. "Almost ready for you." Bones rested his hands on Jim's legs and when Jim looked at him Bones couldn't help grinning.

Jim shifted a little and reached behind him to guide Bones' cock inside him. He slid down slowly, only wincing slightly. Bones was big and it had been a while. He wiped his fingers on the sheet and leaned forward for a kiss. Jim sat back up and slowly raised himself up and then back down while looking into Bones' eyes. Bones rested his hands on Jim's hips as he moved up and down, up and down. He resisted the urge to thrust while Jim's movements were still slow. Jim's eyes were focused on his the whole time and Bones found it a little intense even though he wasn't about to say so.

Jim began to move a little quicker and Bones took Jim's cock in his hand and stroked it. His hips rose a little, almost of their own accord and Jim groaned, a gorgeous sound that Bones tried to elicit again. Gripping Jim's hips he thrust upwards each time Jim slid down and their movements grew more frantic. "So close, Jim, feels so good."

Jim bit his lip focusing on every sensation and wondering if Bones' tight grip on his hips would leave bruises. Bones thrust hard one more time as he came and Jim's hand went to his cock, stroking it seeking his orgasm. A few strokes and he was coming on Bones' stomach. They both panted loudly and laughed when they caught each others' eye. Jim slumped forward pressing a sloppy kiss to Bones' neck, "that was amazing."

Bones agreed and despite Jim's claims of being too tired insisted that they shower. Jim's complaints died away when he realised just how enjoyable a shared shower could be.


End file.
